It was never about what THEY think of you.

Have you ever caught yourself spiralling after a simple comment  replaying a conversation in your head, analysing the tone, wondering what they really meant?

We’ve all been there. It’s easy to believe you’re worried about what people think of you. But you’re not. You’re worried about what you start thinking of yourself when you imagine what they think.

That’s the part that hurts not their opinion, but the inner noise that comes after.

The Real Trigger

Let’s say a colleague gives you neutral feedback, or a friend cancels plans. Your logical brain says, no big deal. But your emotional brain, the part wired for safety, starts searching for meaning.

Your subconscious mind asks, Did I do something wrong? Did I say too much? Do they think I’m too much?

This is your brain’s threat system doing its job  scanning for danger, trying to keep you safe from rejection. It’s not trying to make you miserable; it’s trying to protect you.

The problem is, your brain doesn’t know the difference between emotional rejection and physical threat. So it reacts the same way: your heart races, your stomach tightens, your mind loops.

This is why you can feel anxious even when nothing is actually happening.

Why We Internalise Others’ Opinions

From a neuroscience perspective, your sense of self is built on prediction and memory. The brain uses past experiences: moments when you were criticised, misunderstood, or left out, as data to predict how safe you are in the world.

So when someone frowns, hesitates, or says no, your mind doesn’t see this moment. It sees every similar moment that ever made you feel unsafe. You don’t respond to what’s happening now, you react to what happened before.

That’s why you might feel the need to overachieve, overexplain, or overplease. Achievement becomes your way of controlling how others see you, so you can avoid the pain of judgment.

But deep down, what you’re really trying to avoid is your own self-judgment.

The Shift That Changes Everything

True confidence doesn’t come from being liked. It comes from being congruent, knowing that who you are inside matches who you show to the world.

When you stop measuring your worth by other people’s opinions, you reclaim your authority over your own identity. Your nervous system relaxes. Your decisions become cleaner. You stop performing and start expressing.

That’s where hypnosis and subconscious work make a real difference. They quiet the threat response and rewire old beliefs that keep you in self-criticism. You teach your brain that you’re safe to be yourself even if someone else doesn’t approve.

It’s not about being fearless. It’s about feeling grounded enough that someone’s opinion can pass through you without shaking your truth.

A Moment for Reflection

As this year closes, give yourself the space to reflect, not to fix, but to understand.

Ask yourself:

• Where did I judge myself this year because I was afraid of someone else’s judgment?

• What goals did I chase to prove my worth, instead of honouring my truth?

• What felt heavy or forced and what felt like peace?

This reflection isn’t about setting new resolutions. It’s about clearing the noise so you can enter 2026 with self-trust instead of self-doubt.

Because when your inner world becomes a kind place to be, everything you create from there feels lighter, more authentic, and more sustainable.

The Invitation

Use the end of the year as your mental reset. Release the self-judgment that kept you in survival mode. Choose goals that support your peace, not just your performance.

When you understand that it was never about what they think, it was always about what you think of you, you stop chasing approval and start living with alignment.

That’s where your power lives.

If you’re ready to make that shift, from self-judgment to self-trust, from survival to clarity, I’d love to help.

My One-Off Transformative Session is the perfect space to reflect, rewire, and reset before the new year.

Let’s make sure 2026 begins with a calm mind, clear goals, and a deep sense that you’re enough, exactly as you are.

Click here to get more information or book your session now.