What If It Wasn’t You Who Failed, But Your System?

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you didn’t get it, it’s because you didn’t want it enough”?It sounds motivating at first, but when you really think about it, it’s merciless. It implies that if you didn’t achieve something, you lacked willpower, discipline, or drive. That you wanted an easy life, a dream without effort, and therefore you didn’t deserve it. But that’s not how success works.

The truth is, it’s not always about how much you want it. It’s about how you work for it and whether the system you’re using actually supports you.

Why Wanting It Enough Isn’t Enough

Every one of us is wired differently. We have different upbringings, responsibilities, mindsets, energy levels, and ways of operating in the world. Yet, we keep trying to fit into one-size-fits-all systems that aren’t designed for us.

It’s like trying to run a marathon in someone else’s shoes. Maybe they look great, but after a few miles they blister your feet and slow you down. It’s not your body that’s failing, it’s the fit.

When we start something new, like a diet, a business plan, or a morning routine, we often expect it to work perfectly straight away.

And when it doesn’t, we assume we’ve failed. But here’s the truth: most strategies don’t work on the first try. Not because they’re bad ideas, but because they need to be crafted, tweaked, and refined to suit you.

What’s Really Happening When You “Fail”

I often hear smart women who want it enough saying: “I’ve tried everything, but nothing works,” and I always go deeper. And 90% of the time, what they really mean is, “I tried something once or twice, it didn’t stick, so I moved on.”

But imagine if every inventor gave up after one failed attempt. The lightbulb, the aeroplane, your favourite recipes, none of them would exist. Progress happens through iteration. Each failure is feedback, not proof of defeat.

I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a chain smoker. I wanted to quit so badly. I knew it was destroying me, my health, my energy, and my peace of mind. And yet, every time

I tried to stop, I failed.

If someone had told me then that I didn’t want it enough, I would have punched them in the face. Because I did.

What I lacked wasn’t desire, it was a strategy. I kept trying either the exact same thing or something completely different, without taking what I’d learned from the last attempt to improve the next one.

Then one day, I changed my approach. I created a plan that used every lesson from my past attempts. I mapped out my triggers, my blind spots, and how to respond when cravings hit.

I knew the corners where I used to crash and built bridges before I reached them. That was the difference. I didn’t just want it enough, I tried it enough. And that’s when I succeeded.

Success Isn’t About Willpower, It’s About Design

You don’t need more discipline. You need a structure that makes it easy to do the right thing.

A system that supports who you are, not who you think you should be. Because motivation is unreliable. It comes and goes. But structure, when designed well, quietly carries you forward even on the days you don’t feel like showing up.

Think of it like a garden. You don’t need to force the plants to grow; you just need to give them the right soil, light, and water. Your habits and routines are the same. If your environment, mindset, and systems are aligned, growth becomes a natural consequence.

And here’s where most people get stuck.

They try to rely purely on willpower.

They wake up saying, “Today I’ll be stronger,” but life throws curveballs.

The kids need attention, work piles up, the day slips away. It’s not that they’re weak, it’s that their system wasn’t designed to protect what matters most.

Maybe that means getting support. Maybe it means changing your environment, or asking your family to help you create space. Because success rarely happens in isolation.

When you build a community around your goals, your odds of success skyrocket. You gain accountability, perspective, and encouragement on the days when self-belief runs low.

You’re no longer walking alone. You’re part of a team, a support structure that helps you stay on track and adapt instead of abandon when challenges arise.

Here’s Your Aha Moment

Wanting it enough gets you started, but trying it enough gets you there.Every so-called failure is simply data showing you what to adjust next. It’s not a dead end, it’s a direction change.

You can’t fail, you can only quit. And when you have a plan that fits you, quitting stops being an option. You become adaptable instead of defeated. You gather data, refine your approach, and move again, smarter and stronger than before.

So, what have you dropped because you tried and it didn’t work?And could it be crafted to become your winning plan?

Because maybe the dream was never the problem. Maybe it was just waiting for the right system to bring it to life.