The Hidden Cost of Trying to Feel “Enough”

There was a time when I thought I could shop my way into happiness.

When I was working seventy hours a week as a chef, I would spend my precious free time buying clothes that made me feel like I had a vibrant social life outside of work. I imagined myself wearing those outfits in beautiful places, surrounded by friends, laughing, and feeling carefree.

But deep down, I didn’t realise that I would never actually be in those places. I was always working, exhausted, and chasing a sense of freedom I couldn’t seem to find. Those clothes stayed in my wardrobe, tags still on, quietly reminding me that the life I wanted wasn’t something I could buy.

Why We Chase Quick Fixes

So many women do this, often without even realising it. When your mind links your worth to how you look, what you achieve, or how “in control” you appear, you start reaching for anything that promises quick relief.

A new pair of shoes that makes you feel like you finally have your life together. Expensive skincare that promises to erase the tiredness you carry on your face. Another cookie-cutter strategy that tells you success will come if you just follow the steps.

It’s not about vanity or lack of discipline. It’s your brain’s way of easing the ache of not feeling enough. Each fix brings a short burst of comfort, a sense that this time things might finally change. But it never lasts, because the issue isn’t outside of you. It’s in the belief that you need something external to prove your worth.

The Real Cost

The hidden cost of quick fixes isn’t just financial. It’s emotional. Every time you chase something external to feel better inside, you reinforce the story that who you are right now isn’t enough.

You start to depend on the next thing to feel okay. The next purchase, the next plan, the next “upgrade.” And that constant seeking keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode, always chasing and never arriving.

This is why so many women feel burnt out, even when they’re doing everything right.

Because the external world can’t fix an internal wound.

What Actually Creates Change

Real transformation starts when you stop trying to add more and begin to unlearn the belief that you need fixing.

That’s what I help my clients do through coaching and hypnosis: reprogram the subconscious patterns that drive overachieving, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. When you change the root, the symptoms start to fade. You make choices from confidence instead of lack.

And the beautiful part? Today, I get to wear what I want, not to impress anyone or escape my life, but because I finally feel free and joyful in it. My wardrobe no longer holds dreams I don’t have time for. It reflects a life that feels aligned, peaceful, and mine.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

What have you used as a quick fix lately that actually just cost you money? I’d love to know.