When Fear Knocks: What I Learned the Day One of Mine Came True

Research shows that around 85 percent of the things we fear never actually happen. And of the small percentage that does come true, only about 3 percent turn out to be as bad as we imagined.

Most of our fears are shadows, projections of what might happen. They live in our heads, whispering worst-case scenarios that often never see the light of day. But sometimes, one of those fears does show up.

That’s what happened to me. One of my biggest fears came true: I lost my Facebook account.

Now, for some people, that might not sound like a big deal. But for me, it was devastating. My Facebook wasn’t just a social feed. It was years of building my business, connecting with women who trusted me, and sharing the journey of transformation. In one moment, all of that seemed gone.

It was like watching the house you had carefully built brick by brick suddenly vanish. And all I could do was sit there staring at the empty space.

What do you do when fear becomes reality?

The first wave that hit me was shock. My body reacted before my brain caught up. My heart raced, my chest tightened, my thoughts spiralled into panic. This was it. The thing I had been scared of for years had finally arrived.

But here’s where the story turns. Instead of letting the fear take over, I leaned into a set of simple tools. Tools that I believe can help anyone face the moment when life throws the unexpected at them.

I began with my breath

I took a big inhale, added another small sip of air, and then slowly released a long exhale. That exhale was everything.

Research shows it’s the out-breath that calms the nervous system. It’s the signal to the body that you’re safe, even if your mind doesn’t feel it yet. With every slow release of breath, I pulled myself further away from panic and closer to presence.

I reached out for support

The next thing I did was pick up the phone and call my sister. In her calm voice, I heard a reminder I couldn’t find in myself yet: I wasn’t alone.

And this is where something very important came in: validation.

When something bad happens, we don’t just need solutions. We need to feel seen. Too often, when we share our struggles, people try to make us feel better quickly. Not because they don’t care, but because our pain makes them uncomfortable. So they say things like, “It’s not that bad,” or “You’ll be fine.”

Those words are meant with love, but they can sting. They dismiss the experience instead of holding it. What we really long for in those moments is someone to say, “I know it sucks. I know it hurts. And I’m here with you.”

That’s what my sister gave me. She didn’t rush me past the fear. She stayed with me in it. And that is the heart of true support: validation.

I moved my body

After the call, I went outside and walked. Step by step, I let my body release the tension my mind was holding. I placed my bare feet on the earth, feeling the ground steady beneath me. Walking and grounding shift energy. They help emotions flow instead of locking inside the body.

I let myself feel

This was perhaps the hardest part. I didn’t rush to fix the situation. I didn’t force myself to “stay positive.” Instead, I sat with it.

I admitted: this sucks. I feel powerless. I feel afraid.

By naming and validating those feelings, I gave them space to move through me. Because when we push feelings away, they don’t disappear. They store themselves in the body, waiting to come back in other forms. Allowing them, though uncomfortable, is what clears the way for healing.

And beneath it all, like a whisper rising through the storm, came the reminder: I’ll be okay.

The deeper truth

Life is unpredictable. We can’t control every outcome, no matter how careful we are. But we can choose how we meet the moments we fear.

That day, my tools were breath, support, validation, movement, and honesty. They sound simple, almost too simple. But in practice, they are powerful. They kept me steady when fear wanted to sweep me under.

In the end, I did recover my account. But that wasn’t the real win. The real win was remembering that even when fear becomes reality, I am not powerless.

So let me ask you this: when life suddenly pulls the rug from under your feet, what do you reach for first?